Thankyou Newton!

You must be wondering why would I tittle my blog this way! You will have the answer to it and probably even agree to it once you read this post ahead.

Taking a sip of my coffee whilst writing this blog, when I sit back and look around, one thing is for certain- Life is not a cake walk for any of us.
Academic pressure, competition in the work field, running a family, raising children, health issues and the list goes on. Life endows a human with endless responsibilities to adhere to. In the midst of all of this, we get so imbibed in living up to others expectations that we forget to live up to our own.

Days pass by. Months even. And like the hands of the clock, we go round and round about fulfilling the tasks asked of us. It is needed. It is the call for life. It is inevitable.
But what is modifiable is our approach towards things.
The most burdening situation arises when the ‘What will the people say’ factor comes into play!

Newton has rightly put forth- “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”
I personally owe it to Newton for having shed his wisdom which is not only applicable in the field of science but also in life.
The actions meted out by the society or anybody per say, be it positively or negatively influencing us, demand our reaction.
If positive, we welcome it with open arms. If negative, we sulk and show a cold shoulder.
In both the ways, it’s our reaction that makes us a loser.
Why?
The same society or person for that matter may appreciate your work now, but if their appreciation turns into criticism in anyway, it will surely be detested by you.
However, if it is criticism from the beginning, mental restlessness and friction in relations is what predominates.
I dreamt of becoming a doctor when I was a child. Little did I know the how-abouts of becoming one back then. When people around me encouraged and acknowledged my dream, it fueled me enough.
But when the entrances happened and I couldn’t clear them, those same very people were on guard to discourage and demoralize me enough.
Now that I am pursuing my dream already, the same bunch of people accolade me.
The point here is People are people. Their job is to say and poke their noses right into our lives. But it’s our job to allow or unallow them to do so.
If only I had mastered the art of life then, I would have been a happier soul then. But it’s never too late to mend. One learns from his own mistakes. It is known for a fact that all the successful people in the world have followed this hack. Because if they would have given in to the criticism of the society, they wouldn’t be successful in the first place.

Honestly, for me now the only way out is to be oblivious. That is the only EQUAL AND OPPOSITE reaction that I can offer. After all, not responding is in itself a response! I know for a fact that the society and people around can be harsh at times which may devitalize us. But instead of fighting back or despising it, why not redirect all that energy to where it will be harbored better.
It will be difficult to pay a deaf ear initially, but boost up your passion in a way that anything that hampers your being, is impermeable towards you.
Be so absorbed in your dreams and ambitions that nothing said or done can quiver your mindset. Be your own example such that no encouragement or discouragement can influence you. For you are your own encouragement.

You can derive the message of this blog in two different ways. Either to stand and shut the society up(which is nearly an impossible task) or disregard everything and react only by working on yourself towards a better person. I choose the latter.

Hence, Thankyou Newton!

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It takes two to Tango.

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Tango means ‘two people’ in spanish. It is a dance form that hails from Latin America and is performed by a couple dancing and syncing rhythm to its enticing music. So then why does one say- ‘ It takes two to tango’.
It is an idiom often used to emphasize that in a difficult situation, it takes two people to co-operate with one another and reach to a conclusion.
All kinds of relationships face difficulties at one point or another. Sometimes they become so toxic that they ooze out all the mental peace from you. Efforts made by both sides may become insufficient to make the relationship last longer. Low self esteem, lesser control over things and a sour behaviour is what follows.

Chances are that a third person may have had a hand in turning situations adverse, but the ultimate responsibility is of the two people directly involved.
I had a really good friend of mine, who once upon a time meant so much to me and now we behave as plain strangers.
Would I like to blame the circumstances or a third person involved? The answer is No.
It was our duty to nourish our friendship but somehow we both failed.

What did we do next? Yes, initially we strived to make it last longer and nourish whatever little we had left. But nothing really came out of it. Eventually, we grew apart.
My personal take on this was to just leave it as it is. Without further ado, carrying only beautiful memories of us with me, I decided to walk out gracefully.

What is my life like now? Life is at its own pace while I always hope the better for her.

I shared this piece of my life only to make way for the ones who feel the need for it. There is no point in dragging a toxic relationship incessantly. Pull up your chin and take responsibility for your action. Stop the blame game!
-You cannot really fix/force the other person for a relationship to persist. Work on yourself first and work for what is real and not for what is in your head. This will help you get your ideas clear about where do you stand in that person’s life.
-If it’s not getting any better despite all your efforts, learn to draw a line. This will save you from the mental agony that lingers on due to a failed relationship.
-Muster the courage to let go and feed yourself with what you need and not with what you want. This will help you realize what is best for you what isn’t.

Stating these facts, there is an coherent acknowledgement that one needs to make in every form of relationships- Do all in your capacity to make it work. Chances are that seeing your passion and sincerity, he/she would want to meet you halfway down the bridge. Because it does takes two to tango!

Having stated that, the fact remains that the ideology of a perfect relationship doesn’t exist. But a good one makes you feel secure, content and hopeful of the future.
Toxic relationships drain you of your enthusiasm and make you feel depleted. If you feel you are going through any of this be it on the personal or business front, it’s time to make changes.
You are the best decision maker that you have by your side. The strings won’t detach easily. Your affection towards that person or any other reason for that matter will make it difficult initially. But choose the path that is the best for you. Accept the inherent flaws, implement the changes in your life gracefully and do your future self a favor.

Out Of The Cocoon.

My heart sank seeing my mother teary eyed, waving at me. I would be away from home for the first time, for 6 long years.
My dad accompanied me the first time I came to Philippines. I clearly remember the day I went to see him off at the airport. I was scared. It was a whole new yet terrifying feeling. The sight of my dad leaving gave me shudders never felt before. But the gleam in his eyes that shone brightly for the new life ahead of me gave me all the strength I needed to strive along.
Yes, I was completely oblivious to the life that awaited me. New friends, new life, and the excitement of studying medicine, exhilarated me.
The ‘Chapter of Philippines’, had now begun!
I was enrolled into B.A. in Psychology, a pre-medicine course, which served as a pre-requisite for pursuing medicine in Philippines.
From the food at the canteen to the experiences of a hostel life, everything perplexed me. Taking things at face value, giving in easily and unable to cope with situations made me clueless. Back in school, everyone and everything was so smooth and easy-going, that college life stunned me. I was at my wit’s end most of the time. Battling between emotional turmoil and homesickness, I took my own sweet time to adapt and adopt to the new changes.
In contrary to school days where mostly everyone was amicable to one another, now everyone around me seemed to have chosen someone over another in their journey. I did the same too. Gradually my friends numbered from many to 3 or 4. The word “priorities” came into being and I realized how important it is to have just the right people and not a large number of people by your side.
At times, I found myself lying on the terrace, gazing at the sky and feeling happy for everything and anything. At times, I would find myself despairing and fussing over silliest of things.The next thing I remember doing is calling my sister or a friend to cheer me up and whoosh, gone was all the sadness.
Trips, hangouts, bunking college and late night cooking are indeed some of the fondest memories I have of my pre-medicine days.

And then medicine happened. With all my energy, I set forth to fulfill my everlasting dream.
From going crazy over the never ending exams, to paying bills on time;
From hassles at college to the nostalgia of home and family;
From the irresistible craving of home made food to being on your toes to study medicine, it was and is a roller coaster ride.
Now, emphasizing on the purpose of this post, one needs a few hacks to survive when you are away from your home, family and friends a.k.a when you are Out Of The Cocoon.
– A dream, courage and passion is primary driving force that will help you in the long run, come what may.
Family is that form of sincere love that you should look up to and you are sure to crusade through it all.
Friends who are there with you when you are away from your home, are your family away from family. Keep the. Cherish them.
Last but not the least, the zest in you to nourish the ‘old-you’ with life’s experience and enjoy the ride.
It’s rightly said- Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end. So after you will have achieved your goal, every hardship that you would have faced will be worth it. Acknowledge your journey and do something for yourself and for the ones you love. Eventually, your coming Out Of The Cocoon will be fruitful!

Let nobody dim your shine,
Take the chances as a boon,
Go get whats truly thine,
Oh, dear come see the world,
Oh, dear come out of the cocoon.

The GameChanger!

Picture your favourite food; Listen to all the noise around you; Feel the weather! One would barely take like 10 seconds to do so – This is one’s ability to Imagine.
In an exam hall or an interview room, despite all the nervousness, one is still able to center on the task at hand- This is one’s ability to Focus.
Be it a downfall in career or any other form of disappointments, one is still able to find the tiniest ray of hope and deal with even impassible obstacles- This is one’s ability to persevere.

Who does all of this? Or rather who is the GAMECHANGER?
It certainly is the MIND. The mind is equivalent to Pandora’s box of treasure.
What is the treasure here?
It is the power of imagination, focus and perseverance that are basking in glory in one’s mind.
“There is no limit to the power of the human mind. The more concentrated it is, the more power is brought to bear on one point.” -Swami Vivekananda

The question that now arises is- How to utilize and put these powers into action?
For example- Suppose I dislike someone at my office, I will tend to detest that person’s achievements.
I would tell myself that his/her work is useless or stupid and I am way batter than that.

This is where most of us lose the game. Just to please or ascertain myself, I brought down that person’s image in my mind.

Instead, I could have said to myself- “That person may be good at his work.I am good at my own and satisfied with it.”
But am I really satisfied with my performance? Had I been so, I would not have felt the need to compare or detest that person.
It is here that I should use my ace of spades! With the help of my mind, I should use the right proportion of imagination, focus and perseverance to do better than what I was doing yesterday. Having done that, it would give me no reason to compare myself with anybody.

Honestly, these are nothing but psychological tricks that we humans employ subconsciously to deal with many things in life. At times we are so full of ourselves that we think of only those thoughts that please our senses and put them into action without even considering the repercussions they behold.
All you need to do is become friends with the gamechanger.
“What you think, you become.
What you feel, you attract.
What you imagine, you create.”
-BUDDHA.
Life certainly won’t be a cakewalk after this, but it surely will be a merry ride after one invests in the following manner-
1) Imagine/visualize your dreams coming true or the future self that you want to see.
2) Focus all you attention on the task that you want to fulfill.
3) Persevere harder than before as the sky is limit.
4) Channel your thoughts in the direction of optimism and conviction.

5) Acknowledge your adversities correctly for they will help you put your thoughts into action in the right manner.
5) Let your mind be a magnet attracting all the things you desire from the world and yourself.

Say a Hi to the GameChanger.
And get set go!

New Year’s Resolution #101

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3..2..1.. Happy New Year 2017! My heart skipped a beat as the time, date and year changed a year back from today.
“Why?” you may ask!
The reason being very obvious -Keeping in mind the kind of year 2016 had been for me, I had stacked up many new year resolutions for 2017.
From writing blogs to getting my body into shape. From studying diligently to having a more positive outlook towards life. And the list goes on.
Now when 2018 is all set to unfold itself, I ask myself time and again- Was 2017 exactly as I wanted it to be?
No. It never was.
The sole reason behind this is that I am constantly racing against myself to reach to not one but many finishing lines.
Instead of piling up 10 different resolutions and hardly accomplishing one of them, isn’t it more suitable to gear up for one or two utmost important resolutions and device 10 other ways to accomplish it?
We need to realize that the change of time on the clock, the change of a date on a calendar and the change of a year for the world does not fuel the need to bring about a change in our lives.
It is our own needs that fuel the need to bring a change in our lives. Hence, we sort to making resolutions.
Probably six months from now, the patency of my resolutions will have faded into into thin air. But If I wait for another change in a year, I shall be the biggest fool.
Time and tide waits for no man.
So if I am desperate to change something in me and my life, that priority should not be bound in the shackles of time. It’s then and there that I should start working on it.
Yes, one does need a kickstart. And I wouldn’t deny the fact that the start of a year is the most convenient green signal to begin a fresh.
Now discussing about the big deal- The New Year Resolution itself!!
It can be daunting if your list is as long as your shopping list. And as times passes, not able to keep up with your resolutions can increase your anxiety levels.
Siting an example of myself-  With the help of my catalyst i.e. the occasion of New Year’s Eve, my resolution for 2018 is to work on my body in order to become fit and healthy. I would like to share the 7 “C’s” that I shall be following in order to accomplish my goal and hoping that it will help you also-
1.To CREATE  an attainable and realistic goal.
2. Set yourself  in order to achieve your goal with utmost CONVICTION.
3.To use the right amount of COURAGE to override all the sleek possibilities that may deter you in any manner.
4.To establish a CONVENIENT environment in such a way so as to negate all forms of hindrances.
5. To be CONSISTENT in your methods.
5.To COMMEND yourself for every smallest of achievements made.
6. To CHANGE your attitude towards life and indulge in a healthier regimen both for my body and mind.
7.To CELEBRATE wholeheartedly every step of your journey to reach to your destination.

On this last note I would like to wish all of  you a HAPPY NEW YEAR and all the very best for all your resolutions for the year.

Let’s not forget that a NEW YEAR is not the Game changer.
The Game changer is you.

 

But, We Judge.

IMG-20171027-WA0127-2I am a nice, loving and caring person.
I would also love to add that I don’t judge people. But I can’t. I judge people. A lot. And I hate it. Because that creates a lot of despite in me.

If you are 100% happy and content with who you are,there would be no reason to think about  what other’s say or do.
I change everyday. And I am enjoying and accepting the change I am going through. But there is always a “but”.

But why do we judge?
Firstly, we tend to form an opinion about others “without thinking” and cast a downright judgment without even reconsidering the legitimacy of our thoughts.
Secondly, most of our judgments are the outlets to satisfy the outburst in our ego strategies. This is done in order to avoid uncomfortable feelings that arise in us when something is said or done against us.

All things good or bad, big or small attract our judgment. We give in to it.
What makes matter worse is when we believe our judgments.
For example If someone made a ‘not so good’ remark at me and it’s something I judge in myself too, I will get affected and consequently resent that person. Since that remark was not that welcoming towards me, I will tend to label and judge that person as plain mean or bad. And then live with that judgment (God knows for how long.)

What are the repercussions?
1- I will never be able to live in harmony with that person unless things are resolved.
2- It will make me insecure and  make me feel worse about it.
3- My reactions to the action meted to me will hurt the other person for no grave sin of his.

If you think about it, was that remark or action enough to brand that person as bad or mean?
NO.
My branding that person in that manner, is manifestation of myself. The truth is we meet others only to the extent up to which we meet ourselves.
It’s the idea of our self that we see in others, giving way to our judgments.
People will act in a way sometimes that you won’t like. Say things to you that you won’t agree to. That’s their job.
What’s mine then?
-Its important to understand that it’s definitely not my job to ascertain those remarks or deeds as right or wrong.
But it’s definitely my job to channel them in such a way that they don’t hamper my being .
-When judgement about others arise based on emotional cues, it’s a red signal for us to look into ourselves and find the triggering cause behind it.
-Address your limitations and pave way for all the negative thoughts to fade away.
-Pause, Reflect and Think.
-Don’t jump to conclusions.
-And be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticize or judge anybody.

We all live in a fragile world.
Then why judge?
Instead let’s learn to love the fool in us,
And be a healing touch.

Go With The FLAW!

21875946_10212402762657515_1031725793_o.jpg“Nobody is Perfect?”- Haven’t you heard this a million times?
Yet we all are in this tiring rat race to try and be perfect and make an impact in whatever we do. Concomitantly, the failure to do so brings immense amount of dissatisfaction and distress to us.

As we grow up, life brings its trials and tribulations. Sometime we emerge victorious. Sometimes we succumb to it. When we succumb to it, we realize that there are some inherent flaws in us. They certainly need to be corrected in order to win and strive ahead.
But when it comes to people, we often try to be in another person’s good books. At times even at the cost of our own righteousness.

What happens when we are a people pleaser?
When we try to please another person, we lose our authenticity by trying to be something more or less than what we actually are! We tend to violate ourselves by masking our flaws so as to not annoy another person.

Is it even needed?
As a mater of fact, it’s not! It’s only when we try to feel the need to be needed that we try to please somebody and receive a certain validation.

What kind of validation do we get by being in another person’s good book?
The feeling of being accepted and approved instill a state of fulfillment and completeness within us. It gives us the qualification of our being (in our heads).

What happens when we are not approved?
We doubt ourselves. We resent our flaws which makes us despise our actions just because they were not approved by another person.

How can we correct a flaw?
One should certainly correct it, if it causes harm to anybody or if the outcome will enhance our lives in a positive way. But if our trying to correct a flaw just because someone else doesn’t like it is  like devouring own own self. It’s the unbecoming of you.

In that case, if I am asked, I would state my biggest flaw to be my vulnerability. Yes, I am too sensitive. Anything said or done by someone makes me ponder over it a million times. Eventually it makes me restless and mundane.

What would your probable advice to me be like?
Be strong Kruti, don’t give in too easily!
Yes, i will definitely follow this advice but NEVER give away my flaws at the same time. They make me what I am. My vulnerability is a flaw that I accept with absolutely no conviction. The only way I can help myself is to accept my flaws gracefully and be headstrong that it is not used against me by anybody.

After all I am not a Nutella jar that can make everybody happy (Sometimes even Nutella fails to do so).
Jokes apart, if I am happy and the people around me love me for what I am, What more could I possibly ask for?

Therefore, accept yourself the way you are before seeking any approval from anybody.
Never give in to criticism as it only causes havoc in our minds.
Assert your thoughts and actions firmly without the fear of being judged or scrutinized.

Celebrate your being by being just the way you are. At the end of the day, you are your own sole mate!

It’s okay to walk alone,
It’s okay to rekindle your awes,
It’s okay to be on your own,
Because the secret is to Go With The Flaw!