It feels as if 2018 passed by in the wink of an eye. But I am sure each one of us have had fair share of memories that make 2018 yet another astounding year.
We all may be having the same mindsets at this time of the year- new beginnings, new year and all resolutions up our sleeves. Having learnt from our failures in the year gone by, expressing gratitude we welcome the new year with great positivity.
For me, 2018 in particular was a year that made me confront the deepest of my fears -Thanatophobia.
Thanatophobia is an anxiety triggered by thoughts of a loved one’s demise. I was constantly terrified by these incessant thoughts.
Death is ineveitable. I know. But, 2018 bought this harsh realization to me in a way so quick that I still have to pinch myself to come back to reality.
I lost my dadi (grandmother)in December 2018.
She had been ill and on her demise people around said-“It’s good that she is freed from all the pain and agony.”
Yes they are right. But I have a different take on this. Why glorify her pain when we can celebrate her life!
A life that she lived on her own terms.
She was a woman of substance who stood up for herself and her loved ones like no other.
From eating home made pani puris in train to being a foodlover that she was,
From fighting off her illness with unparalleled courage to greeting everyone with brightest of her smiles,
From going against her in laws to get her kids to study in English medium schools back in the 60’s ( studying in English medium schools back then was not so popular) to pampering her grandchildren to the fullest- I will always be completely in awe of her.
There is a Gujrati saying- “Mudi karta vyaz vadhare valu.”
The figurative meaning to this is that grandparents love their grandchildren more than they love their own children. It’s certainly falls true for me.
For 24 years of my life, she was a rock solid support always wanting the best for me. No matter what.
She’s gone but has set an example for me to follow for the rest of my life.
Forever and Ever.
That is -To be unapologetically me.
I feel I am strong-headed but at times certain situations become so overpowering that all I do is think about her and the way she would have acted. It’s all sorted thereafter!
You must be wondering why am I epitomizing my grandmother in a post on New Year?
Like I mentioned earlier, New Year is all about new beginning and resolutions and being grateful.
Look around yourself. Look upto someone.
I am sure there must be someone whose love mesmerizes you. Someone who betters you. Someone whom you think of in the worst of your situations.
Honestly, you don’t really need a new year to be inspired from someone. But a new year definitely serves as an impetus for those waiting for one. So why not make the most out of it?
And let that inspiration be your guiding light in whatever you do.
Forever and ever.
How about using 2018 as a means of drawing inspiration from people who have influenced you the most?
And then let’s embark upon the new year with a bang!
P.S.- If you have grandparents, hug them or call them and tell them how much you love them.
Because they love you the most.
Forever and Ever.
thewishfullife 